Tintin and the Picaros. Script
Haddock: Ahoy, Tintin! Same to you old boy.
Tintin: Hi, Captain! Boy! There's nothing like an invigorating ride in the country air.
Haddock: You mean the cold air. Come on in and warm up.
Tintin: Aaaaah! That's better.
Haddock: Uhm, the new should be on. Blistering barnacles!
Voice on TV: The famous opera Singer Bianca Castafiore arrived in San Teodoros today. She scheduled to give a command performance for General Tapioca this evening. Travelling with her are two highly trained detectives, who have been assigned to keep an eye on madam's extensive jewelry, which it's reportedly insured for over two million dollars. Madam Castafiore will continue her triumphant tour through the rest of this month and Will return to Europe.
Haddock: Uh? Who? Uh? Who?
Jolyon: Yes, Jolyon Wagg. Now, look here. I just saw Bianca on the telly. If she needed insurance, you should have sent it to me!
Haddock: But… Listen, I...
Jolyon:
Haddock: Well, that's great, but…
Jolyon: And while I got you, Captain, what about your policy on your estate? I can give you a terrific deal, what d'you say?
Haddock: That's what I say! Astrogoth! First Bianca Castafiore, then Jolyon Wagg! What a weight start to weekend.
Voice on radio: And now the eight o'clock news. Bianca Castafiore was arrested last night in San Teodoro. She is accused of plotting against General Tapioca.
Haddock: Tintin! Tintin! Tapioca has arrested the Castafiore!
Tintin: Are you kidding?
Haddock: No, I'm not. The radio said she was plotting against him or something. Castafiore plotting! That's absolutely ridiculous!
Tintin: I'm sure t's just a misunderstanding.
Calculus: Tintin! Captain! Look! That dictator Tapioca has arrested madam.
Tintin: "Documents detailing plot were found in madam Castafiore's luggage."
Calculus: That's terrible!
Tintin: "The documents named Tintin, Captain Haddock and Professor Calculus as co-conspirators."
Calculus: Simply terrible! Oh, my!
Tintin: "General Tapioca has ordered a full investigation."
Haddock: What a load of bilge!
Tintin: We'd better set Tapioca straight. Let's send him a telegram denying the charges.
Tapioca: Tremble I say, you cowards! Squalking in your dusty mansions! Puppet masters in this vile conspiracy! Tremble crooked Captain Haddock!
Haddock: Crook yourself! You dictatorial duckbill diplodgas!
Tapioca: I have just received this. It is a telegram from Tintin denying the charges. Well, I am reasonable man. This be an innocent misunderstanding. And that's it's why I invit Tintin and his Friends to come to Tapiocopolis to clear this matter up. I personally guarantee them safe passage for a fair and frank exchange of views. My only aimit's to seek out the truth!
Haddock: Well, that's good enough for me.
Tintin: Could be a trick.
Haddock: But he promised a safe passage.
Tintin: Promises are cheap.
Calculus: Weep? Madam is weeping? Oh, dear. We must go to Tapiocapolis immediately!
Haddock: No, Professor! Maybe Tintin's right!
Calculus: Well spoken, Captain. I'll pack right away.
Tintin: Professor…
Haddock: Are you still worried about the trip?
Tintin: I just don't like it, Captain. Something's not right.
Haddock: Nothing is going to happen. Trust me. It says here that Tapioca gat into power by toppling the last ruler in a military coup.
Tintin: That was General Alcázar! He's a friend of mine!
Haddock: Really? Where is he now?
Tintin: The last I heard he was hiding in the jungle trying to organize the resistance.
Haddock: Listen to this: "In the past year, Tapioca has commanded attack from a terrorist group called the Picaros. Tourists are advised to be careful."
Tintin: It's okay, Captain, those must be Alcázar's men.
Haddock: Oh, that's okay then. For a minute I was getting worried too.
Álvarez: Commodore Haddock. Welcome to Tapiocapolis.
Haddock: Thank you, but I'm just Captain.
Álvarez: Such modesty. Señor Tintin?
Tintin: Yes.
Álvarez: General Tapioca has been detained on business. I am Colonel Álvarez, his aide-de-camp.
Tintin: How do you do?
Álvarez: Ah! And you must be Professor Calculus. A pleasure to meet you, señor profesor.
Calculus: Forgive me, officer, but I cannot shake the hand of someone who disregards human rights!
Calculus: Don't take any notice of Calculus. He's just making a joke.
Álvarez: Of course. Now, if you gentlemen will follow me, I will take you to your accomodations.
Tintin: How is madam Castafiore?
Álvarez: She's very well, señor.
Tintin: Can we see her?
Álvarez: I'm sorry, but I am afraid that it's not possible.
Calculus: And what about madam Castafiore?
Álvarez: Señor?
Calculus: Don't tell me you've forgotten about her.
Álvarez: No, señor. It is not possible to forget madam Castafiore.
Haddock: Carnival?
Álvarez: It is a very big affair. Performance come from all over the world.
Haddock: Sounds like fun.
Álvarez: Sí, señor commodore.
Tintin: Colonel, where're you taking us? I thought we were staying in the city.
Álvarez: The city gets very noisy during carnaval, so General Tapioca made arrangements to get you peaceful accomodations in the country.
Tintin: You've got us well guarded.
Álvarez: A simple precaution against terrorists. Nothing to be alarmed about. I trust these accomodations will be o your liking, señores.
Haddock: They're fine.
Álvarez: Ah, Manolo. Manolo has been assigned to look after you. Just call and he will come. I will leave you now. Please, make yourselves comfortable.
Haddock: He looks like a thug. Maybe we misjudge Tapioca, this place seems comfortable enough.
Álvarez: Remember your orders, Manolo.
Manolo: Sí, señor coronel.
Álvarez: You will watch them very carefully!
Manolo: Sí, señor coronel.
Álvarez: They do not suspect anything, Colonel Sponsz.
Sponsz: Good! My plan is working.
Álvarez: You were right, Colonel. Tintin could not resist coming to Tapiocapolis to check the false documents we planted on Castafiore.
Sponsz: Interference omes naturally to him. He ruined one of my most important operations in Borduria, because he cannot mind his own business. However, this time he will regret it.
Haddock: What a beautiful night! I think I'll open the doors. Uhm, must be stuck. Confounded thing! Confounded thing!
Manolo: El señor okay?
Haddock: Señor will be fine if you put away that blunderbuss.
MAnolo: Sí.
Haddock: Why won't the windows open?
Manolo: They are sealed for air conditioning to keep the cold air in.
Haddock: Well, turn off the can air and let's get some fresh air.
Manolo: Windows they do not open. Buenas noches, señor.
Haddock: Thanks, friend. Really you tried to hard.
Manolo: I clean up.
Haddock: You do that, there's a good chap. Now, where did I put my tobacco?
Manolo: Señor, where are you going?
Haddock: To get some tobacco.
Manolo: No, señor. Too late. All stores are closed now.
Haddock: Then I'll just take a walk instead.
Manolo: No, señor. It's not allowed.
Haddock: Not allowed?
Manolo: It's not good for security. Picaros may attack. I must insist you go back to room, señor.
Haddock: Insist, uh? Okay. Good night. You were right, Tintin.
Tintin: You want to here some music, Captain?
Haddock: Music? No, I don't want music. I'd said that we are prisoners! Are you mad? Turn it off!
Castafiore: I love how lovely I look in this mirror.
Tintin: Look! It's a microphone!
Haddock: You mean they can hear us?
Tintin: Not only that. They're watching us as well.
Álvarez: Tintin has found us out, Colonel Sponsz.
Sponsz: He is no fool. Never mind. He's only a few short hours from death.
Tintin: We've got to get out of here.
Haddock: Maybe we could escape when we meet with Tapioca.
Tintin: If we're allowed to meet with him.
Haddock: Come in!
Pablo: Buenas tardes, señores. Manolo had a minor accident. I'm his replacement. Do you mind aloud this music?
Tintin: Oh, not at all.
Calculus: Ah! Lunch. I'm starved. Not that bujabais again.
Pablo: You are in great danger, señores. Tomorrow, an attack by the Picaros will be faked.
Calculus: Thank you!
Pablo: In the course of the fighting, you are be killed.
Haddock: Killed?
Pablo: It would be meant to look like an unfortunate accident.
Tintin: Why this General Tapioca want to kill us?
Pablo: It is not General Tapioca. It is Colonel Sponsz.
Haddock and Tintin: Sponsz?!
Tintin: The chief of police in Shoho?
Pablo: That is the one. He's been assigned to General Tapioca to reorganize his security police. General Alcázar says not to worry.
Tintin: No thanks! General Alcázar?
Pablo: Sí, señor. I work for him.
Calculus: No, thank you. Oh! I can't believe it!
Tintin: What?
Calculus: Just a bird in window. A beautiful one.
Tintin: What's Alcázar's plan.
Pablo: Tomorrow you will be taken n the trip to see the pyramide of Hotuatabouti. You will ask the soldiers if you can climb to the top. I will go with you. When we are safe and out of the way, General Alcázar...
Haddock: Blistering barnacles! That tastes horrible!
Pablo: Perdone, señor. As I was saying once we're out of the way and attacked by the real Picaros will be mounted. The wine is excellent, señor.
Haddock: Balderdash!
Calculus: It worked.
Tintin: So the Picaros will attack and then what, Pablo?
Pablo: Ah, yes... In the confusión, you were to tie me up and escape. General Alcázar Will be waiting for you in the jungle.
Tintin: Pablo, thanks.
Pablo: It is nothing, señor.
Álvarez: Your friend seems preoccupied.
Haddock: Oh! So you have notice? He is upset hat we haven't met with General Tapioca yet.
Álvarez: Oh, I forgot! The General sends his apologies. He will see you tomorrow morning.
Tintin: Oh, really? Great!
Haddock: What?
Tintin: Why are we stopping? I thought we were going to the pyramid.
Álvarez: A slight change in plan, señor.
Haddock: What d'you mean a slight change in plan? We want to go to the pyramid.
Álvarez: We will go to the pyramid shortly, Captain. But first, we stopped for your tobacco.
Haddock: Oh, yes, of course.
Tintin: It's magnificent.
Pablo: If you wish to climb it, I will take you up.
Haddock: Lead the way.
Álvarez: Señores, be careful. The steps are very steep.
Tintin: We'll be careful, Colonel.
Haddock: Come on, Professor. Come along, Professor!
Calculus: No, thank you, Captain. I suffer from fear of heights.
Haddock: Don't be silly.
Calculus: Great sunspot, Captain. Leave me alone… I tell you I don't want to!
Haddock: Come on, you don't want to miss the view!
Calculus: Will you stop it, Captain! For goodness sake! I can't believe it!
Tintin: That took longer than I thought.
Pablo: We must hurry, señor! Here! Tie me up.
Calculus: Your conduct is unqualifible, Captain. Unqualifiable! That what it is...
Haddock: We made it.
Calculus: My word! Now what's going on?
Pablo: It started!
Tintin: Captain! Take the Professor and find Alcázar! We'll catch up with you.
Haddock: Got you!
Calculus: I demand you…
Tintin: Thank you, Pablo. I will never forget…
Pablo: Quick, Señor! You may thank me later.
Haddock: Come on, Professor!
Calculus: Leave me alone!
Alcázar's men: Follow us!
Haddock: Come along, Professor!
Calculus: What on earth?
Alcázar's men: Into the truck! Quickly! You go with the driver!
Tintin: General Alcázar!
Alcázar: Hop in, amigo!
Álvarez: So, the trap is sprung. Good work, Pablo.
Pablo: It was quite easy, Colonel!
Álvarez: Puma to Jaguar: come in.
Soldier: Jaguar to Puma, receiving you.
Álvarez: Alcázar's truck is on the way. It should reach a position in approximately seven minutes. Don't miss it. Over.
Soldier: Do not worry, Puma. I cannot miss. Over and out.
Alcázar: You see? General Alcázar is true to his friends. As son as I got your message I...
Tintin: Our message? But Pablo came to us with your message!
Alcázar: My message? What are you saying, amigo?
Soldier: Target approaching!
Alcázar: Pablo is one of my most loyal men.
Tintin: Then why did he lie to both of us?
Soldier: Load!
Alcázar: No, Pablo would not betray me.
Pablo: Would d'you stay your life on that chip? Hey! There's something on the road.
Alcázar: Here, take a look.
Tintin: Thanks. It's just a monkey.
Soldier: Aim!
Tintin: Wait! Something frightened him! Stop the truck, general.
Alcázar: Are you crazy, amigo?
Tintin: Stop!
Soldier: Fire! Fools! You missed! Reload.
Tintin: Captain! Calculus! Let's get out of here.
Tintin: Professor?
Calculus: I most strongly suggest that whoever was driving this trunk invest in a few lessons!
Tintin: Come on, Professor!
Calculus: Tintin! I can walk!
Soldier: Fire! Quickly! Check the wreckage!
Calculus: Oh, my!
Tintin: Come on!
Calculus: Really…
Soldier: No one can survive that. Haguar to Puma. Jaguar to Puma.
Álvarez: Go ahead, Jaguar.
Soldier: Mission accomplished. Over.
Álvarez: Received. Excellent! Colonel Sponsz will be pleased. You have done well, Pablo.
Alcázar: I can't believe. A renegade!
Haddock: Double crosser! Turn coat! Swine!
Tintin: Actually, he really do us a favor. Now Colonel Sponsz thinks we are dead, so we are free to come up with the plan to rescue our friends: Bianca and the Thompsons.
Haddock: You're forgetting we're stuck in the middle of the jungle.
Tintin: Not for long. Alcázar said we shall reach his camp soon.
Haddock: That should be a trick.
Alcázar: Hey, amigos! I've been thinking. You want to join the Picaros?
Haddock: Oh, great! That's all we need. We're done for being plotters to prisoners, ambush victims to terrorists guerrillas. What next? What are you laughing at?
Calculus: Frankly, Captain, I didn't understand why we came down the pyramid so quickly, when you forced me to climb up there in the first place.
Haddock: Give me strength. How much longer do we have to trip through this overgrown plant store?
Alcázar: It is not far to the camp now.
Tintin: How many Picaros are there, General?
Alcázar: Thirty or so.
Tintin: Thirty? Is that enough to overthrown Tapioca?
Alcázar: With me as their leader, thirty Picaros can do anything. We plan to sneak into the capital during carnaval and free your friends.
Tintin: Captain? Captain! Are you okay?
Haddock: Anchors away!
Tintin: How did they get those bottles?
Alcázar: Tapioca drops them into the jungle. He knows the Picaros will drink them, so they won't be able to fight. The Bandito river will lead us to the Picaros camp. Take cover! If it is one of the Tapioca's, let's hope they didn't see us.
Tintin: Captain!
Soldier: What's that? A Picaro by the river? Where did he go? Caramba! He's disappeared!
Tintin: Captain!
Haddock: Blistering barnacles!
Tintin: Hang on, Captain!
Haddock: How did I get here?
Alcázar: Gunshots! Coming from the camp!
Tintin: Oh, oh. Looks like the bottles got here before we did.
Picaro: General! Come join the party.
Alcázar: Caramba!
Picaro: ¡Viva el general!
Peggy: Alcázar!!!! You've got some nerve sneaking out of the camp without telling me. If you think you can just run off and leave me any time you want, you've got another thing coming. Understood??!
Alcázar: Yes, my dove.
Peggy: And who are these guys?
Alcázar: These are my old friends: Captain Haddock, Tintin and Professor Calculus.
Calculus: My dear lady, your lovely welcome has moved me deeply. It shall be a pleasure to share your delightful company as we prepare for war.
Peggy: Oh, well… They can stay in the tool hut.
Alcázar: She may seem a little harsh, but she has a heart of gold.
Peggy: Alcázar!!!
Calculus: What a charming woman. Such grace and beauty. As for her husband, his revolution will never succeed if his army keeps drinking.
Tintin: I know. There goes our best chance to rescue the Thompsons and madam Castafiore.
Calculus: Luckily for everyone, I've been doing some herbal experiments in jungle apothecary.
Haddock: Jungle apoth-a-what?
Calculus: No, not at all, Captain. I've given it something that wuld made those men stop drinking. Any one taking one of these pills will find the taste of alcohol unbearable. And the very first person who I tested in on were you, Captain.
Haddock: Me? You miserable blundering barbequed blister!
Calculus: My sister has nothing to do with it.
Haddock: It's a scandal!
Tintin: Uhmm, pills. The Picaros will probably resist it.
Calculus: My sister! I ask you to leave her out of this.
Tintin: No, Professor, the Picaros will resist taking these pills, unless we sneak them into their food.
Haddock: It's worth a try.
Calculus: Come to think of it: I don't have a sister, but if I did, this is the last place I'd wanted her to be.
Tintin: General! I know how to stop the Picaros from drinking, but first you have to promise that the revolution will be peaceful. No executions!
Alcázar: A revolution without executions??! I would be the laughingstock of the country... But surely… that we can make another deal. How about one fifth of the gold reserves in el Banco de la Nación?
Tintin: I'm not interested in money. I want a peaceful revolution.
Alcázar: Forget it! I'll get the Picaros under control myself.
Tintin: Grenade! Tear gas!
Alcázar: Tintin! I have changed my mind, I will accept your conditions. Then my friends, you must watch the ridiculous justice of General Tapioca.
Tintin: TV coverage? Even in a remote jungle camp.
Soldier: Before you sit two evil, brutal men. So cunning are these would be assassins, they have even grown moustaches to better fit in and gain our trust.
T&T: We object! We were born with our moustaches.
Soldier: Silence! I find you guilty. Death!
Tintin: It's not fair.
Alcázar: I told you, amigo.
Soldier: As for you, Bianca Castafiore, you will expend the rest of your life in prison.
Castafiore: Are you making a joke, non? A silly joke made by a silly Little soldier.
Soldier: It's not joke!Here is proof!
Castafiore: You make me laugh. He he he he! Margarita!
Calculus: Oh, my! Gentlemen, please!
Soldier: Kill him! Hang the traitor!
Alcázar: What's going on?
Soldier: The spy! I've caught him dropping pills into the chili. He's trying to poison us!
Tintin: General...
Alcázar: It's okay, amigos, those pills were only vitamines.
Soldier: I don't trust this food. The dog must eat it first. Doggy woggy, come! Good stuff. Eat it! Amigos, who want's to eat this stuff??
Tintin: Back! Snowy, eat! Eat! Come on, boy. You see? Totally safe.
Driver: Oh, I say. How far to Tapiocapolis?
Tintin: Uh... We aren't sure.
Jolyon Wagg: Bless my buttons! Look who it is! It's Tintin and the Captain!
Haddock: Jolyon Wagg!
Jolyon: You've got it, old friend! Oopsie-daisy! Me and my troup, the Jolly-follies, have been invited to perform at the big carnaval. I've designed these costumes myself. Nice, uh, don't you think?
Haddock: Very interesting.
Alcázar: What's going on, amigo?
Jolyon: Ah, the chap in charge. Mind if my gang spends the night in your camp?
Alcázar: Forget it!
Tintin: Ah... General...
Alcázar: Perhaps I spoke a little hastily, my friend. You may stay here as long as you like.
Jolyon: Morning, Professor. Sleep well?
Peggy: Alcázar!!! Where is that lazy?
Alcázar: "Peggy, my dove, at dawn we left to overthrow the tyrant Tapioca. Love, Alcázar. P.S.: due to the revolution I will not be home in time to cook diner.
Peggy: Alcázar! Alcázar!
Tintin: I feel bad sneaking off with Wagg's bus like this.
Alcázar: What's more important? Some silly tourists or winning the revolution and saving your friends from firing squad?
Tintin: If you put in that way, but will we make it in time?
Alcázar: Another hour and we will be there in time for part two of our plan. Long live to revolution!
Tapioca: A carnaval and an execution on the same day. Isn't life grand, Colonel Álvarez?
Álvarez: It is with you, as our leader, your excellency.
Tapioca: Look at those people. All of them love me.
Álvarez: Is it really safe to stand on this balcony? What if some treacherous Picaros are in town?
Tapioca: The Picaros? Nonsense! Colonel Sponsz is taking care of them, haven't you, Colonel?
Álvarez: You worry too much. The Picaros are far away and too drunk to be of any danger.
Tapioca: You see, Colonel Álvarez? You worry too much. And what is this?
Tintin: Remember your promise, General. No bloodshed!
Alcázar: Sí, I remember.
Tintin: Ready with the chloroform?
Haddock: Ready!
Tapioca: They are hilarious! I would like to meet some of them!
Tintin: The show is over, Tapioca!
Tapioca: Is this a joke?
Alcázar: Sí, the biggest joke ever.
Tapioca: Alcázar!
Alcázar:That's general Alcázar to you.
Tintin: Captain! Look who's at the window! Colonel Sponsz, we meet again.
Álvarez and Sponsz: Tintin!
Tintin:I heard you were behind this Sponsz.
Sponsz: Nonsense! The Bordurian government has sent me here as an oficial representive to advise General Tapioca's military.
Álvarez: He is lying!
Sponsz: Be quiet!
Tintin: No, let's hear it, Álvarez.
Álvarez: He wanted revenge for when you humiliated him in his homeland, so he planted false documents on madam Castafiore and had her arrested.
Tintin: Knowing I would come to help them. Nice try, Sponsz.
Alcázar: Read it! Read it!
Tapioca: No!
Alcázar: I said: read it!
Tapioca: Citizens of San Teodoro, rejoice. I, General Tapioca, surrender all my Powers to General Alcázar.
Alcázar: Get this tape to the radio station. Have them play it right away. As for your execution…
Tintin: General...
Alcázar: There will be not execution.
Tapioca: No execution? Are you crazy?
Tintin: It's not my idea! It's his.
Tapioca: But, señor, he has to execute me. Traditions demands it.
Sorry, Tapioca, you'll be exiled to Borduria with your pal Sponsz.
Tapioca: Exiled? You can't! The shame! The humiliation!
Tintin: Álvarez, unless you wish to join Sponsz in Borduria you'd better get on the phone and stop the Thompsons execution.
Álvarez: Yes, sir. The phone is dead! The Picaros must have cut the lines.
Tintin: We have to get to the prison at once.
Alcázar: Colonel Álvarez. Take Tintin and the Captain to the prison.
Álvarez: Sí, General! Hurry, amigos. We have only 5 minutes to stop the firing squadron.
Man: I am sorry, señores, but it is time. We must go.
T&T: Right then. One must be on time. Precisely, Thompson. One must always be on time for one's execution.
Tapioca: Citizens of San Teodoro, rejoice. I, General Tapioca, surrender all my power to General Alcázar.
Haddock: If only we had a car.
Álvarez: A car would never make it to this clowns.
Tintin: No, but that big float will.
Álvarez: To the prison, quickly.
Tintin: Clear the road! Look out! Coming through!
Soldier: A final cigarette?
T&T: Bad for ur health.
Soldier: Blind folds?
T&T: A Thompson likes to look death right in the eye. Right Thompson? Right.
Soldier: Squad! Ready!
Álvarez: There is the prison.
T&T: Well, Thomson. Any last words? How about "good bye"?
Soldier: Aim!
Tintin: Hold your fire! Hands up!
Álvarez: By order of his excellency General Alcázar, this execution is canceled.
Tintin: Sorry we couldn't get here sooner
T&T: Quite all right, Tintin. We're policemen. All in the line of duty.
Tintin: Now, what about madam Castafiore?
Castafiore: You fool! Tell that chef of yours l said al dente! Mamma mia! My rescuing prince! I knew you'd come to save me. My dear Irma. Mr. Wagner, what a pleasure to see you together again. I must sing something!
Tintin: So the Picaros will attack and then what, Pablo?
Pablo: Ah, yes... In the confusión, you were to tie me up and escape. General Alcázar Will be waiting for you in the jungle.
Tintin: Pablo, thanks.
Pablo: It is nothing, señor.
Álvarez: Your friend seems preoccupied.
Haddock: Oh! So you have notice? He is upset hat we haven't met with General Tapioca yet.
Álvarez: Oh, I forgot! The General sends his apologies. He will see you tomorrow morning.
Tintin: Oh, really? Great!
Haddock: What?
Tintin: Why are we stopping? I thought we were going to the pyramid.
Álvarez: A slight change in plan, señor.
Haddock: What d'you mean a slight change in plan? We want to go to the pyramid.
Álvarez: We will go to the pyramid shortly, Captain. But first, we stopped for your tobacco.
Haddock: Oh, yes, of course.
Tintin: It's magnificent.
Pablo: If you wish to climb it, I will take you up.
Haddock: Lead the way.
Álvarez: Señores, be careful. The steps are very steep.
Tintin: We'll be careful, Colonel.
Haddock: Come on, Professor. Come along, Professor!
Calculus: No, thank you, Captain. I suffer from fear of heights.
Haddock: Don't be silly.
Calculus: Great sunspot, Captain. Leave me alone… I tell you I don't want to!
Haddock: Come on, you don't want to miss the view!
Calculus: Will you stop it, Captain! For goodness sake! I can't believe it!
Tintin: That took longer than I thought.
Pablo: We must hurry, señor! Here! Tie me up.
Calculus: Your conduct is unqualifible, Captain. Unqualifiable! That what it is...
Haddock: We made it.
Calculus: My word! Now what's going on?
Pablo: It started!
Tintin: Captain! Take the Professor and find Alcázar! We'll catch up with you.
Haddock: Got you!
Calculus: I demand you…
Tintin: Thank you, Pablo. I will never forget…
Pablo: Quick, Señor! You may thank me later.
Haddock: Come on, Professor!
Calculus: Leave me alone!
Alcázar's men: Follow us!
Haddock: Come along, Professor!
Calculus: What on earth?
Alcázar's men: Into the truck! Quickly! You go with the driver!
Tintin: General Alcázar!
Alcázar: Hop in, amigo!
Álvarez: So, the trap is sprung. Good work, Pablo.
Pablo: It was quite easy, Colonel!
Álvarez: Puma to Jaguar: come in.
Soldier: Jaguar to Puma, receiving you.
Álvarez: Alcázar's truck is on the way. It should reach a position in approximately seven minutes. Don't miss it. Over.
Soldier: Do not worry, Puma. I cannot miss. Over and out.
Alcázar: You see? General Alcázar is true to his friends. As son as I got your message I...
Tintin: Our message? But Pablo came to us with your message!
Alcázar: My message? What are you saying, amigo?
Soldier: Target approaching!
Alcázar: Pablo is one of my most loyal men.
Tintin: Then why did he lie to both of us?
Soldier: Load!
Alcázar: No, Pablo would not betray me.
Pablo: Would d'you stay your life on that chip? Hey! There's something on the road.
Alcázar: Here, take a look.
Tintin: Thanks. It's just a monkey.
Soldier: Aim!
Tintin: Wait! Something frightened him! Stop the truck, general.
Alcázar: Are you crazy, amigo?
Tintin: Stop!
Soldier: Fire! Fools! You missed! Reload.
Tintin: Captain! Calculus! Let's get out of here.
Tintin: Professor?
Calculus: I most strongly suggest that whoever was driving this trunk invest in a few lessons!
Tintin: Come on, Professor!
Calculus: Tintin! I can walk!
Soldier: Fire! Quickly! Check the wreckage!
Calculus: Oh, my!
Tintin: Come on!
Calculus: Really…
Soldier: No one can survive that. Haguar to Puma. Jaguar to Puma.
Álvarez: Go ahead, Jaguar.
Soldier: Mission accomplished. Over.
Álvarez: Received. Excellent! Colonel Sponsz will be pleased. You have done well, Pablo.
Alcázar: I can't believe. A renegade!
Haddock: Double crosser! Turn coat! Swine!
Tintin: Actually, he really do us a favor. Now Colonel Sponsz thinks we are dead, so we are free to come up with the plan to rescue our friends: Bianca and the Thompsons.
Haddock: You're forgetting we're stuck in the middle of the jungle.
Tintin: Not for long. Alcázar said we shall reach his camp soon.
Haddock: That should be a trick.
Alcázar: Hey, amigos! I've been thinking. You want to join the Picaros?
Haddock: Oh, great! That's all we need. We're done for being plotters to prisoners, ambush victims to terrorists guerrillas. What next? What are you laughing at?
Calculus: Frankly, Captain, I didn't understand why we came down the pyramid so quickly, when you forced me to climb up there in the first place.
Haddock: Give me strength. How much longer do we have to trip through this overgrown plant store?
Alcázar: It is not far to the camp now.
Tintin: How many Picaros are there, General?
Alcázar: Thirty or so.
Tintin: Thirty? Is that enough to overthrown Tapioca?
Alcázar: With me as their leader, thirty Picaros can do anything. We plan to sneak into the capital during carnaval and free your friends.
Tintin: Captain? Captain! Are you okay?
Haddock: Anchors away!
Tintin: How did they get those bottles?
Alcázar: Tapioca drops them into the jungle. He knows the Picaros will drink them, so they won't be able to fight. The Bandito river will lead us to the Picaros camp. Take cover! If it is one of the Tapioca's, let's hope they didn't see us.
Tintin: Captain!
Soldier: What's that? A Picaro by the river? Where did he go? Caramba! He's disappeared!
Tintin: Captain!
Haddock: Blistering barnacles!
Tintin: Hang on, Captain!
Haddock: How did I get here?
Alcázar: Gunshots! Coming from the camp!
Tintin: Oh, oh. Looks like the bottles got here before we did.
Picaro: General! Come join the party.
Alcázar: Caramba!
Picaro: ¡Viva el general!
Peggy: Alcázar!!!! You've got some nerve sneaking out of the camp without telling me. If you think you can just run off and leave me any time you want, you've got another thing coming. Understood??!
Alcázar: Yes, my dove.
Peggy: And who are these guys?
Alcázar: These are my old friends: Captain Haddock, Tintin and Professor Calculus.
Calculus: My dear lady, your lovely welcome has moved me deeply. It shall be a pleasure to share your delightful company as we prepare for war.
Peggy: Oh, well… They can stay in the tool hut.
Alcázar: She may seem a little harsh, but she has a heart of gold.
Peggy: Alcázar!!!
Calculus: What a charming woman. Such grace and beauty. As for her husband, his revolution will never succeed if his army keeps drinking.
Tintin: I know. There goes our best chance to rescue the Thompsons and madam Castafiore.
Calculus: Luckily for everyone, I've been doing some herbal experiments in jungle apothecary.
Haddock: Jungle apoth-a-what?
Calculus: No, not at all, Captain. I've given it something that wuld made those men stop drinking. Any one taking one of these pills will find the taste of alcohol unbearable. And the very first person who I tested in on were you, Captain.
Haddock: Me? You miserable blundering barbequed blister!
Calculus: My sister has nothing to do with it.
Haddock: It's a scandal!
Tintin: Uhmm, pills. The Picaros will probably resist it.
Calculus: My sister! I ask you to leave her out of this.
Tintin: No, Professor, the Picaros will resist taking these pills, unless we sneak them into their food.
Haddock: It's worth a try.
Calculus: Come to think of it: I don't have a sister, but if I did, this is the last place I'd wanted her to be.
Tintin: General! I know how to stop the Picaros from drinking, but first you have to promise that the revolution will be peaceful. No executions!
Alcázar: A revolution without executions??! I would be the laughingstock of the country... But surely… that we can make another deal. How about one fifth of the gold reserves in el Banco de la Nación?
Tintin: I'm not interested in money. I want a peaceful revolution.
Alcázar: Forget it! I'll get the Picaros under control myself.
Tintin: Grenade! Tear gas!
Alcázar: Tintin! I have changed my mind, I will accept your conditions. Then my friends, you must watch the ridiculous justice of General Tapioca.
Tintin: TV coverage? Even in a remote jungle camp.
Soldier: Before you sit two evil, brutal men. So cunning are these would be assassins, they have even grown moustaches to better fit in and gain our trust.
T&T: We object! We were born with our moustaches.
Soldier: Silence! I find you guilty. Death!
Tintin: It's not fair.
Alcázar: I told you, amigo.
Soldier: As for you, Bianca Castafiore, you will expend the rest of your life in prison.
Castafiore: Are you making a joke, non? A silly joke made by a silly Little soldier.
Soldier: It's not joke!Here is proof!
Castafiore: You make me laugh. He he he he! Margarita!
Calculus: Oh, my! Gentlemen, please!
Soldier: Kill him! Hang the traitor!
Alcázar: What's going on?
Soldier: The spy! I've caught him dropping pills into the chili. He's trying to poison us!
Tintin: General...
Alcázar: It's okay, amigos, those pills were only vitamines.
Soldier: I don't trust this food. The dog must eat it first. Doggy woggy, come! Good stuff. Eat it! Amigos, who want's to eat this stuff??
Tintin: Back! Snowy, eat! Eat! Come on, boy. You see? Totally safe.
Driver: Oh, I say. How far to Tapiocapolis?
Tintin: Uh... We aren't sure.
Jolyon Wagg: Bless my buttons! Look who it is! It's Tintin and the Captain!
Haddock: Jolyon Wagg!
Jolyon: You've got it, old friend! Oopsie-daisy! Me and my troup, the Jolly-follies, have been invited to perform at the big carnaval. I've designed these costumes myself. Nice, uh, don't you think?
Haddock: Very interesting.
Alcázar: What's going on, amigo?
Jolyon: Ah, the chap in charge. Mind if my gang spends the night in your camp?
Alcázar: Forget it!
Tintin: Ah... General...
Alcázar: Perhaps I spoke a little hastily, my friend. You may stay here as long as you like.
Jolyon: Morning, Professor. Sleep well?
Peggy: Alcázar!!! Where is that lazy?
Alcázar: "Peggy, my dove, at dawn we left to overthrow the tyrant Tapioca. Love, Alcázar. P.S.: due to the revolution I will not be home in time to cook diner.
Peggy: Alcázar! Alcázar!
Tintin: I feel bad sneaking off with Wagg's bus like this.
Alcázar: What's more important? Some silly tourists or winning the revolution and saving your friends from firing squad?
Tintin: If you put in that way, but will we make it in time?
Alcázar: Another hour and we will be there in time for part two of our plan. Long live to revolution!
Tapioca: A carnaval and an execution on the same day. Isn't life grand, Colonel Álvarez?
Álvarez: It is with you, as our leader, your excellency.
Tapioca: Look at those people. All of them love me.
Álvarez: Is it really safe to stand on this balcony? What if some treacherous Picaros are in town?
Tapioca: The Picaros? Nonsense! Colonel Sponsz is taking care of them, haven't you, Colonel?
Álvarez: You worry too much. The Picaros are far away and too drunk to be of any danger.
Tapioca: You see, Colonel Álvarez? You worry too much. And what is this?
Tintin: Remember your promise, General. No bloodshed!
Alcázar: Sí, I remember.
Tintin: Ready with the chloroform?
Haddock: Ready!
Tapioca: They are hilarious! I would like to meet some of them!
Tintin: The show is over, Tapioca!
Tapioca: Is this a joke?
Alcázar: Sí, the biggest joke ever.
Tapioca: Alcázar!
Alcázar:That's general Alcázar to you.
Tintin: Captain! Look who's at the window! Colonel Sponsz, we meet again.
Álvarez and Sponsz: Tintin!
Tintin:I heard you were behind this Sponsz.
Sponsz: Nonsense! The Bordurian government has sent me here as an oficial representive to advise General Tapioca's military.
Álvarez: He is lying!
Sponsz: Be quiet!
Tintin: No, let's hear it, Álvarez.
Álvarez: He wanted revenge for when you humiliated him in his homeland, so he planted false documents on madam Castafiore and had her arrested.
Tintin: Knowing I would come to help them. Nice try, Sponsz.
Alcázar: Read it! Read it!
Tapioca: No!
Alcázar: I said: read it!
Tapioca: Citizens of San Teodoro, rejoice. I, General Tapioca, surrender all my Powers to General Alcázar.
Alcázar: Get this tape to the radio station. Have them play it right away. As for your execution…
Tintin: General...
Alcázar: There will be not execution.
Tapioca: No execution? Are you crazy?
Tintin: It's not my idea! It's his.
Tapioca: But, señor, he has to execute me. Traditions demands it.
Sorry, Tapioca, you'll be exiled to Borduria with your pal Sponsz.
Tapioca: Exiled? You can't! The shame! The humiliation!
Tintin: Álvarez, unless you wish to join Sponsz in Borduria you'd better get on the phone and stop the Thompsons execution.
Álvarez: Yes, sir. The phone is dead! The Picaros must have cut the lines.
Tintin: We have to get to the prison at once.
Alcázar: Colonel Álvarez. Take Tintin and the Captain to the prison.
Álvarez: Sí, General! Hurry, amigos. We have only 5 minutes to stop the firing squadron.
Man: I am sorry, señores, but it is time. We must go.
T&T: Right then. One must be on time. Precisely, Thompson. One must always be on time for one's execution.
Tapioca: Citizens of San Teodoro, rejoice. I, General Tapioca, surrender all my power to General Alcázar.
Haddock: If only we had a car.
Álvarez: A car would never make it to this clowns.
Tintin: No, but that big float will.
Álvarez: To the prison, quickly.
Tintin: Clear the road! Look out! Coming through!
Soldier: A final cigarette?
T&T: Bad for ur health.
Soldier: Blind folds?
T&T: A Thompson likes to look death right in the eye. Right Thompson? Right.
Soldier: Squad! Ready!
Álvarez: There is the prison.
T&T: Well, Thomson. Any last words? How about "good bye"?
Soldier: Aim!
Tintin: Hold your fire! Hands up!
Álvarez: By order of his excellency General Alcázar, this execution is canceled.
Tintin: Sorry we couldn't get here sooner
T&T: Quite all right, Tintin. We're policemen. All in the line of duty.
Tintin: Now, what about madam Castafiore?
Castafiore: You fool! Tell that chef of yours l said al dente! Mamma mia! My rescuing prince! I knew you'd come to save me. My dear Irma. Mr. Wagner, what a pleasure to see you together again. I must sing something!
Alcázar: As president, I award you the sacred order of San Teodoro.
Jolyon: Glad to have been of service. Right! A big horray for the General
Alcázar: I am touched. Now please, go out and enjoy the carnaval. As for you, Professor, without your pills, the revolution could never have been launched.
Calculus: Beans? For lunch? Oh, no! Thank you.
Alcázar: What about you, Tintin? Are you sure you will not accept a reward?
Tintin: Freeing my friends is reward enough for me. Thanks for keeping your promise.
Alcázar: The revolution is a success. The airforce and navy have rejoined us.
Peggy: Alcázar! You've got some nerve leaving me in that stinking bug infested jungle while you laze abut this palace! Bring my backs upstairs and get diner started!!
Alcázar: Yes, my dove.
Haddock: Ah, it'll be nice to get back home to Marlinspike.
Tintin: You said it, Captain!
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